Oh yes, does Ella know. And has known for quite some time. Drinking wine has been an obsession more than casual outings with friends. Ella knew for a long, long time. Ella has gone months alcohol free, tried to moderate and eventually always works her way back through the labyrinth of denial and arriving straight back in the center, surrounded by three closed-in walls with just one opening and direction leading out. Mostly, she doesn't want to see this opening.
I'm Ella. I've chosen Ella Knew to represent me. Being open about my true name is more than I can take on at the moment. I need to line up everything in my favor with the intention of finding my way out through this crazy maze and into a new open space where the sun shines and I can feel at peace. It does feel like a slim chance right now but, nonetheless, here I go. Ella Knew. Ella Knows. I'm holding Ella's hand to help me find my way.
I'm 50 years old. I have been drinking on and off for 35 years really. I have had month-long breaks from alcohol. And I did manage to moderate for 10 years until I was 34 following my rowdy, booze-fueled high school and college experiences. Once I had my two sons -- within a year -- I quickly became overwhelmed, completely unprepared for the loneliness and exhaustion of motherhood. Five o'clock couldn't come fast enough. Books about "happy hour" playdates were a godsend. It made me feel like somehow drinking was normal. Made me think I wasn't alone. We all wanted to drink. Justified!
Fast forward many years. I'm finally feeling the effects of my drinking -- stomach ache, burping, weight gain, obsession with where, when and how much wine is in the house. So here we go, day 8 AF. So happy to have found Soberistas, Mrs. D, Unpickled blog, Caroline Knapp, Rachel Black and many many more warm, caring and honest, generous people. I'd like to join your crowd. xo
I'm Ella. I've chosen Ella Knew to represent me. Being open about my true name is more than I can take on at the moment. I need to line up everything in my favor with the intention of finding my way out through this crazy maze and into a new open space where the sun shines and I can feel at peace. It does feel like a slim chance right now but, nonetheless, here I go. Ella Knew. Ella Knows. I'm holding Ella's hand to help me find my way.
I'm 50 years old. I have been drinking on and off for 35 years really. I have had month-long breaks from alcohol. And I did manage to moderate for 10 years until I was 34 following my rowdy, booze-fueled high school and college experiences. Once I had my two sons -- within a year -- I quickly became overwhelmed, completely unprepared for the loneliness and exhaustion of motherhood. Five o'clock couldn't come fast enough. Books about "happy hour" playdates were a godsend. It made me feel like somehow drinking was normal. Made me think I wasn't alone. We all wanted to drink. Justified!
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