Monday, November 14, 2016

Double Digits (Day 10)

Hooray (sarcarcasm)...I'm at 10 days AF....again. If I had just stuck to my plan three years ago or again, earlier this year -- both times 60 days AF -- I could be past all of this.

I've been in such denial about what alcohol really is. I've justified drinking nearly an entire bottle by myself -- it was over the course of three hours! There are nights socially when I'm definitely at 1 1/2 bottles. I am a lush loser when I think that others helped me drink certain bottles. Usually it's just one small glass of the white and most move on to red. I know the truth but I always conveniently tuck the details away and congratulate myself about never touching hard spirits. How ridiculous, right?

So here I am this morning, going to see a doctor because my gut hurts -- even after 10 days AF. That can't be good and I'm scared. I hope I can take all of this seriously this time around.

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